A letter to Clint Eastwood

Dear Clint,

I first saw you when I was about 5 and my dad had on a western. You wore a scowl as you stared down your foe with unflinching eyes - as if you knew what was coming - on some dirt caked road in a deserted town. From a 5 year olds eyes, I remember everything being in shades of brown. Beyond your good looks and ability to administer justice, even when the law failed, I’ve become most inspired by the movies you direct; Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby, and Mystic River are some of my favorites. I’ve read you produce movies that are on-time and under budget. You focus on storyline, not fancy effects. You complete filming scenes in the first several takes, when the actors are fresh. Your biography reads to me like a very humble guy. 

I want to be humble, too. The problem is, I don’t really have anything to be humble about. I’m 31 now. When I was in high school, I thought my goal was to go to college then get a job and move into a respectable position. I went to CU Boulder for a business degree. I found my first “real” job as a warehouse manager in a big shipping company. There were some unforeseen events too: Namely that I fell in love with being in a foreign country, where no one has any social expectations of me and I fell in love with a girl that I couldn’t marry, but couldn’t break up with either, because I loved her. Both of these events changed my trajectory and altered my life. I spent the last 7 years in Japan.

 I am back in Seattle now. I learned that what I thought I wanted, wasn’t what I really wanted. I thought that I was being practical by getting a degree in business and then going after a job in a respectable company. I ended up being really unhappy and working really hard just to stay afloat in a job I didn’t care about. 

With all my unhappiness, I began reexamining myself. Asking family and friends what they remember of me. I can remember wanting to be unique, loving stories, and being really introverted. I was also very late in developing. When I was in high School, I remember being a senior and everyone was shaving but me and a couple other boys. Being older, I see people going through their life questioning phases, as I am doing now, but they seem 5 to 10 years younger than me.

Now I want to do something creative and intuitive. I am thinking about going into film, acting, directing, or writing. I don’t really know what I am going to be good at, but I think that I would like to capture people as they really are. What drives them, what they don’t show other people. I guess, sort of like a biography. 

It has been my goal to write you for a long time, because you seem to be creating movies that capture insight into life. I really admire this and want to do something like you one day. I think that when we can see something done, it makes other people realize what they are capable of too. 

Thank you for reading. If you can spare some time, any comment from you. 

Sincerely,

Derr